Noona88

So many times i’ve had real bad episodes of blackouts and yet i still drink. This time is worst! I have been told that i was at an homeless camp naked. I cant help but cry these days thinking about it😢. I have been told that i might have been sexually assaulted. I was completely out of it. Dont have any recollection of that night. It makes me so sick trying to remember. The guilt i feel everyday looking at my husband and my children not knowing what had happened to me that particular night tore me up. I just want to die. I just feel so violated&it wasnt noones fault but mine for choosing to drink! How do i forgive myself and how do i live with myself not knowing what really happened? Im even considering going to the cops. The nerves of the homeless man to brag about something that considers a rape got me sick to my stomach. How do handle all of these? I really just want to die!!