Originally Posted by August252015

Lots of really good comments above, BDTL.

I'd add a few things from my experience - I am now 27 mo and change sober. I got my first sponsor at 97 days after doing almost the 90 (meetings) in 90 (days) that is so often recommended. She was about as different from me, and not just in age, as could be. That was actually a great thing bc it helped remind me that alcoholism simply does not discriminate.

I had "done" steps 1-3 on my own, prior to starting to work with her- by that I mean thought and accepted them in head and heart- and we did them again, along with reading the first 164 pg of the BB and her providing context (even specifics like the fact that Our Mutual Friend was actually a real person!), advice to read up on Silkworth, along with discipline around my AA studies that I maintain today (ex, part of my am routine every single day is reading pp 84-88 and 417-418).

When I was doing my step 4, and because of some significant "differences" in our approach to AA, I realized I was not comfortable doing/sharing 4 and 5 with her. I had gotten to know a lady in my home group that I felt shared my philosophy of a recovery program more closely and I switched sponsors at roughly 5 mo. We took quite a while (til around 12-13 mo!) to "officially" or literally do the steps together, yet we worked on them actively by developing what she described as using the steps as a guide for life and making decisions, and creating a rich recovery program. And, she is much more similar to me in lots of ways, which was and is good for me along my journey now.

As said above, a sponsor is critical and IMO commitment to meetings is also essential. Right now, I find 4-6 a week (plus two of the recovery group I lead for restaurant industry folks) is my sweet spot. I schedule them in my week, every week.

Best to you for your acceptance and progress in recovery. That comment about focusing on those who have what you want is gold.