Originally Posted by
Milano58 
I honestly don't know him anymore. He came home on Sat night so drunk, tremors, staggering. Got so belligerent. We've two very small kids so I'm terrified he's going to do something stupid.
Its been like this fir the last 2months and he wont get help. He was off booze for nearly 4ys before that after I dumped him for getting drunk. From his early teens tobhis 30s he's passed out in so many places, been rescued outta rivers. He thinks he just doesn't have an off switch when he's starting to get drunk. Why is he drinking at all if that's the case? I cant duvoece him cos in nz he'd get shared care and he cant be trusted anymore on his own with them. I'm at my wits end.
That's the $64,000 question alright. If he knows he can't handle it, why does he pick up, when logic says all he has to do to solve his problem is not drink?
My bet is like many another alcoholic he has had days where he absolutely decided enough was enough, he is not going to drink anymore. If you could put a lie detector on him at that point it would register that he was telling you the absolute truth. And yet later, possibly even the same day, away he goes again.
Its as much a puzzle for him as it is you. I aw other people stop or moderate and thought "why cant I do that? It was source of terrible frustration. The fact is for many alcholics, we have lost the power of choice in drink. Willpower is inneffective, memory doesnt save us. There is a moment of insanity just prior to the first drink where all human defences fail us. We can't not drink. Thats what is going on with him at the moment. I hope somehow he can find the power to quit. There are ways, but it is up to him.
The important thing for now is to take care of you and the children. We have a frieinds and family forum here which would be helpful. Also, New Zealand has quite an active Alanon fellowship who would also be good to talk to.
I am a kiwi myself, living in SE Asia at the moment. Feel free to PM me if I can help in any way.