Hi Lafightermama
Welcome to SR. I am very sorry for your situation. Unfortunately your story while unique to you sounds pretty typical. Trying to live with someone who is addicted to hard drugs is incredibly difficult.
I have my own ugly hard drug addiction relationship story. So I want you to know that your not alone. I understand how you feel.
I know there are no easy answers. I know first hand the destructive nature of addiction.
You have come to a good place here on SR. There are many who have experienced exactly what you are going through. Hopefully you will get a lot of sound advice.
Again I am very sorry for your situation. I wish you peace & strength in this difficult time.