Reading some of your other posts it seems that moderation is not working for you, it doesn't work for most of the people on here either. You deserve better for yourself and so do your kids, I can tell you love them very much. You also mentioned before that your dad's situation is alcohol related and I am so sorry you are having to suffer through this, but drinking at the problem is not going to make it any easier and it's not going to make it go away. Please give some real consideration to stopping drinking alltogether, you are aware you cannot moderate your intake once you start so sobriety is the only way. Like you said before you feel like a broken record, maybe it's time to change the record and only you can do this, you have to want this for yourself.
I hope you make the right decision for you, you deserve better and you can do this! xx