Originally Posted by
OT4Kids 
I saw the comment about something being wrong with me and it is true. I don't want to feel this way and keep getting hurt by this man but I can't stop myself. I have taken many steps to get help and yet I still haven't broken free from him.
I am suffering deeply from my worsening illness...now needing surgery in June on my esophagus and having problems with my aorta from the the scleroderma. And I have constant stress and anxiety from this man.
All of this while working and taking care of my kids. It's a lot.
OT, your thread title is:
Please help
im reading a massive amount of insecurity and fear-possibly fear of being by yourself and that brings the feeling of insecurity. better to have this....ehem...man...in your life than be alone, which if you were to get rid of him and truly put in the footwork on you, you can become quite comfortable in your own skin by yourself( its quite an amazing feeling).
however, maybe its time to think about whats best for you and,just as important, your kids. their future is being shaped right now. they can be learning that this behavior is acceptable- both in that it is acceptable to not be accountable and responsible for their actions( like the addict) AND it is acceptable to allow the insane behavior of an addict in their lives.
and this crap sure as hell aint helpin your health. you deserve to have a happy,safe homelife.
the only thing i can think to say is get some courage and make that phone call to the police to start.