AA is good for me but they're all human too. I wouldn't get too obsessed over it. I didn't do 90 in 90 or anything. I have boundaries I set right from the beginning. If AA is "wearing you out", ask yourself why. You were so excited about it recently, i thought. Sometimes i find it triggering but i reflect on why. Usually its something going on in my own life. Make sure you're giving yourself lots of self care. Address the issues with your ex and work through them sober. Cause it will only be worse with alcohol. Sure we all want to kick back, have a few or several, but that's not how we make it to our first sober birthday. We have to fight for it. I believe it will be worth it.