My XAH was an addict and an abuser. He NEEDED me in order to keep drinking and drugging in the way he had become accustomed. His protestations of his "love" for me just re-enforced for me that he was using me. I believe he doesn't even realize this and still thinks that he "loves" me. If you love someone you don't lie to them, steal from them, gossip about them, lie about them and use them. You don't continually disturb their sleep when they beg you not to.