RRecovery, good question about what I had hope for. And honestly at this time I'm so sickened by him and his cruel lies that I don't even want to examine where my head was at then. But I'm sure I'm not alone in having hope that I was the one who the A would be happy with and might just change for.
I wish I had found this forum back when all the chaos was really happening. You guys would have had a field day with all the drama. But back then I was so emmersed in the drama that I didn't even go on the internet. I was completely obsessed with him and I thought it was such true love. I was pretty ignorant to the special manipulative talent many A's posess. And ofcourse I am prone to low self esteem.
I have reached my limit and finally can say "Its over". Cuz I'm SICK of the lies, the small gestures of kindness just to attain sympathy, the drunken calls, the sad looks from him at work, hearing about his new baby when he knows how sad that makes me and how much I'd love to have my own.
I have finally given myself the gift of freedom.