akrasia

Hey all,

Gosh, I'm struggling. Happy to have frank input.

I separated from my sometimes-binge-drinking husband in February. His drinking manifests as binges happening about twice a year.

The rest of the time, when he's not drinking, we are happy. It was just the Russian-roulette nature of the bingeing that was doing my head in. I was losing perspective.

So we separated and now I miss the hell out of him. This is a fifteen-year relationship, ten-year marriage. Happy times. He has supported me through so much. He listens to me, supports me, lifts me up.

We saw each other last night and had some food and he said he would always love me and I was always welcome back.

And the situation is complicated by the fact that shortly after separating I chose to have a passionate fling with a man I know (a friend through work, not a hint of anything before but shortly after I separated he approached me and told me he had feelings for me and I was happy to be swept off my feet). This affair is not something I see as a long-term future, I sort of see him when I see him and he has dropped off the radar for Ramadan for reasons I don't quite understand.

I miss the hell out of my husband. When I imagine going back I imagine our going to counselling together, and I know there will be the difficulties. And at the same time the idea of going back makes me feel so peaceful.