So, you got sober to have a healthier and happier life. I'm really glad you are not drinking any more, that's huge. Congratulations for turning your life around. I'm very glad to hear that despite this marital stress the thought of drinking repulses you.
It's hard to have a happy life when we are being emotionally abused and manipulated into believing it's our own fault. I've been in that relationship, it sucked.
A book called, Codependent No More, by Melody Beattie, changed my life. I hope you will give it a read or a listen, it is available in audiobook format.
This is just a thought.... but if your husband is angry and mean with you anyways, why not at least take a break from the house and get some support at an alanon meeting? (Please don't do anything you think will lead to physical violence)
You got sober to have a better life, please keep making improvements to your life a priority, that is the best example you can set for your son.