This is such a powerful post Matt9880. As a father of a young child I know the guilt, shame, and anger of choosing drink over family. I recently had a stumble but am now dedicated to lifelong sobriety more than ever. We never have to live your original story again. My kids will not grow up knowing drunk dad. Alcoholism runs on both sides of my family but I Will break the chain. You can too. Make the choice to start now. These forums are a great place to start and find some amazing support.