The weekend fun drunk dad!
6 am Monday...eyes open sweating and shivering in the fetal position...close my eyes hoping the next 60 minutes take an eternity.
6:50 am Monday... I realize my daughter will come see me on the couch at 7:10am...must throw 4 to 6 empty beer cans crushed and spilled around my bloated corpse in the garbage on top of the other 12 filling the garbage. I must also create artificial garbage to throw on top in case my wife opens the garbage and over flowing empty cans spill out on to the floor creating that sickening clank I know all to welI. I wait until my wife starts blow drying her to pull the massive bag of empty beer cans out of the garbage can... a symphony of misery and failure all clanking together.
7 am Monday and the sound "daddy" from my 5 year little girl is pure alcoholic hell. 3 days and 50 beers later I sweat and tremor making her grilled cheese and packing her lunch in a haze of confusion exhaustion and paranoia.
8 am Monday...I drive to work sweating and confused everyone seems to be going so fast...why is the sun so damn bright?!...my stomach is the only thing alive and I am going to puke NOW!
815 am Boss: have a good weekend?!
Me: great time with the family!
Boss: ready to get to work?!
816am-430pm Me...(dont puke and can I die today?)
I binge 18 beers on friday, 18 on Saturday and 18 on sunday and a few weeknights here and there (give the illusion you are in control) my 5 year old little girl and wife love fun weekend dad!