Originally Posted by
Broken3481 
I was dating a man I loved he who was a closeted alcoholic I knew he drank but not daily and to his extent. He up and left me the 1st time i told him i didnt want to hang with his drinking buddies. Now I'm dealing with the pain and depression he left me. I'd kill for him to come back. I'd kill for anything he'd give me. I've almost lost me job and myself to losing him.
Broken, I know you are in pain right now, but take a moment in your tears to look at this logistically, removing the alcohol factor. Why would you kill to get someone back who doesn't want you?
In love, chasing does no good. let people fight for you a little. and if they dont, ask yourself why? Sometimes we have a tendency to believe people can heal us. Or people can fix us. so we lose our boundaries and can only feel good when they are around. It doesn't work. People sense it and run away.
The need for physical affection is real. It's part of the reason I stay married. Early on in a relarionship that intimacy can feel like a drug. At 2 months your love hormones are through the roof, and you just got the object of your affection removed from you so it feels like withdrawal and it kind of is.
work on yourself, get a pet to cuddle, exercise, reconnect with family and friends, take good care of yourself and cultivate your own happiness. The right partner will come along if it's what you want, when people truly want a partner they tend to have one. I know beautiful, charming people who can't find anyone to love, I think because they think they want to love but deep down they dont. If it's what you truly want, it will eventually come to you.