Originally Posted by
Looking4Clues 
Hi Broken,
Over the course of our relationship, I saw him go from sweet, loving, and committed to selfish, irritable, and unreliable. The final straw was when he freaked out a few Saturdays ago and cancelled our plans together because he just “had to do his own thing” (translation: “Go drink what I want and as much as I want with my guy friends without you around to judge.”) When I questioned his logic, he said that he loves me but is tired of me always wanting to do things and spend time together while he’d rather do his “own thing.” (This guy is 39 btw). Basically, he loves and values himself, his fun and his booze more than me or our relationship. OUCH.
So I can relate to the feeling of wanting someone to “come back,” but is it the man he REALLY is that you miss or just the polished version of him that he presented in the beginning? Because like someone above said, any guy who breaks up with his girlfriend because he’d rather get smashed with his buddies is not someone capable of having a mature, healthy relationship in the first place.
Oh boy can I relate to this. That polished man who never really existed. Maybe only in my dreams. It's so hard to let go of something that never really was.
But I sure don't miss that irritable, unreliable man, who just wanted to drink with his buddies, too. He just turned 40. Whiskey in his coffee, 10-20 beers a day and a flask on reserve. High functioning, for now....
Always has to be so cool. The center of attention. He tries to be the guy every guy wants to be. And has to be the guy every woman wants. He is exhausting to be around.
He was not always that way to me....but it wasn't real.
We just have to love ourselves more than to settle for who they really are. Hugs to everyone letting go of an A. Not always easy. Especially when loved them unconditionally and you're always looking for the good.
