Amazon22

Hello,

So I can to the realization that I have a problem this past weekend. I have times when I can drink socially and have a great time with 2-3 drinks and stop and feel fine. Then there are other times when I binge and blackout. On Saturday I was babysitting for a family and once I put the toddler to bed i made the insane decision to start drinking the vodka the parents had in their fridge because I was “bored” after two shots of vodka I decided I needed to drink MORE and started to chug straight from the bottle. By the time the parents arrived I was blackout and can’t remember what happened after that. I learned from the mom that I kept asking several times where she went for dinner with no recollection of the answer and was slurring my speech. I don’t know how I got home. The next morning I woke up to glass everywhere, naked in bed and had a huge lump on my head likely from falling. I feel ashamed and embarrassed. I hate myself.

I’m about to start grad school in the fall and God forbid this behavior continues. HELP! What should I do!?