Originally Posted by
dandylion 
Ophelia.....I am wondering.....when you look back, now....do you recognize any signs or red flags that might have been there...before you found out that he had cheated? You know---the old thing of looking back with 20/20 vision......?
Not signs that he cheated, but he did tell me a lot of conflicting things about his exes... in hindsight. He also said conflicting things about his family... in hindsight. But the way he said those things, it was like a throw-away comment here or there, and I just brushed it off because it was about them and not me.
It's hard for me to "go back there" because of PTSD. If I think about everything that had happened, I felt that I was always compromising, and at the time I thought that I had to do it because he was ill (didn't know he was an addict not conventionally "sick" until I had been enmeshed for years).