I was in the same boat. I won't lie, it's hard. You have to find a support system and ask them for help. Get into the mentality that it takes a village. I did not make some huge deal w/my XAH. I told him very politely when he was sober that he would not be driving the kids anymore. Then stuck to it. I got a lot of anger, eyerolls, telling me what a POS I am. My kid's safety meant more.
Big hugs.