Savana.....even though your post is focused on your ex ....I still see progress here.
It is certainly a better post than the last few have been, as far as your recovery goes.
I understand how you feel completely.
If there is one thing that I totally know for sure it is this.....
Don't pick up the phone.
Every time I do it knocks me back a few hundred yards, and I have to crawl my way back again.
It serves no purpose to answer those calls.
The only person profitting is the ex, he is reassured of his place in our hearts.
No matter how the call ends up, they know they still have us.
Why do I say they still have us....
Because we answered the phone.
If we stopped picking up that little device eventually they would "get it."
As I see it they have 2 options at that point.
1. Leave us alone
2. Get healthy and fight to get us back
If they really love us they will choose option 2.
If they don't love us or themselves they will continue to call for validation and if we continue to answer the nightmare goes on for us.
Just the way I view the whole thing, as it is still happening in my life.
On really bad days I pick up, those are the days I really need not to.
I am rambling....my point is and has always been ....you are making progress, you just have bad days like we all do. Keep on keepin on Savana....you know,
Progress not perfection.....(((Savana)))