Thanks for all the great wishes people.
For any newbies reading this...you can do it. Like most things in life, it was making the decision to stop that was difficult. Following that up was a ton of work...but relatively easy. "Will this activity contribute to my sobriety? Fine. Ima do it."
It's May 10. One year plus one. A year ago today I was waking up and looking at the ceiling, wondering when I'd installed sprinklers into my bedroom ceiling. For several minutes I had no idea where I was. Nearly unable to walk, I wandered out into the hallway and vaguely remembered checking into rehab. The next several days are pretty fuzzy. At that point I was going to stop long enough to detox, and had no intention of remaining sober. Within about two weeks of inpatient I'd decided I wasn't going to drink anymore.
And I haven't.
And I won't.
Whatever it takes, and you will be rewarded with a life you can't even imagine when in the depths of addiction.
YOU. CAN. DO. THIS.
If I can, anyone can. I have the attention span, willpower and discipline of approximately a gnat. I allowed help in my life.
Find strength in others. Programs. Doctors. Counsellors. Therapists. People that can help you stick to a plan.
There is so much argument about which method works to get and stay sober. AVRT proponents. Reading tea leaves. Journaling. Mindfulness. Psychiatric intervention for underlying mental health issues. Finding God. Finding nature. Science. Poetry. Medication. Meditation.
It's all load of crap. And it's all correct. The most effective method to getting and staying sober is the one that speaks to you. Or any combination thereof. The important thing is to commit to sobriety and DO WHATEVER IT TAKES.
The only thing I did that I can advise is that I made sobriety the only objective in my life for months. Do that. AND get help.
I expect to see many one year posts going forward. If you're struggling now, commit and post one a year from now.