Originally Posted by
Looking4Clues 
Thank you all for the advice and resources!
My biggest hurdle now is how do I move on from this? We still haven’t spoken but I know this relationship is all but over. Even though I know he’s treated me poorly, how do I not miss the good times (there were so many, even though it might not sound like it!)? What if the “good guy” side was the REAL him and he just didn’t think I was “enough” to be that for all the time? What if he was just a jerk/drank because he was bored with me and wanted out but felt too bad to say it?
I realize this probably sounds irrational, but it’s where I’m at emotionally right now ...
This is such a painful thing to experience Looking. Whatever he is or whatever he does is not as important as what are the next steps you need to take.
Most of us around here consider
Codependent No More a bit of a bible. also many have found Alanon to be helpful. You may not fit in entirely with Alanon but it still can have some helpful information.
Please know that what you are going through is excruciating and so take care of yourself and get all the help you can.
Peace and healing to you.