Sorry you are in this position. Maybe you need to accept that he can not be what you would like and that he can not fulfil how you see a relationship.
His addiction while active is always going to be in charge. Even in recovery it takes a lot of work to keep it dormant. It's very likely you are never going to be his top priority.
This is how it is with addicts.
So the real question is, it this acceptable to YOU? If not, you will need to make changes.
Sending you best wishes and supportive thoughts. This is all very difficult and painful.