soinlove.....you say that "we won' t give up on the other, tho."......
That statement brings this thought to my mind.....what percentage of effort (worry, stress, energy).....are you putting into the relationship...as com\pared to his? From the things that you share, it feels to me like there is a lot of inequity in the relationship...... Like, maybe, he is your whole world...while you are a "part" of his world....
I know, from personal experience, and the thousands of similar stories, here, on this forum...that it is so easy to live in the illusion that our partner feels the same intensity about the relationship that we do. We tend to assume that they feel exactly the same as we do.
And, I get it ...that that can be enough for some people....or, at least, some people will settle for that much....and, it sound, to me like that is where your head space is, right now...? But---you don't sound happy!? And, that is why I am even bothering to write all of this to you.....
You just don't sound happy.....
Do you really believe that you are entitled to be happy...and have a relationship that meets your needs....that nourishes you and allows you to thrive...rather than just adjust to accepting the crumbs as someone else doles them out?
He can't give you what he does not have, inside, to give......
I am glad that you are still working on yourself...don't stoop doing that.....