Things were going well, or so I thought— Is have my own issues too tho
In recent months -He got a new fabulous job in neighboring state, we take turns visiting and going back & forth... plans in place for me to move soon or as soon as I can.
Some things aren’t changing. And let’s be real, I’m an adult child of an A, have my own anxiety issues too.... yet we want this to work, & keep working thru things ups& downs good and bad for 6+ years now.
He’s on track for quite awhile with his, & I’m working hard to manage my issue, or trying.
Then the daily messages/calls begin to dwindle... this week it’s a call or text but not always after a certain time—saying he fell asleep early. Or was a long day at work, I’m tired let’s talk tomorrow.
He’s not cheating on me with another woman ( I’m 100% on that) it’s the booze taking up my place in his life right now— I hate it. I need him to be present, to be accountable. When I’m there visiting I see an evening cocktail or two, no more and never waking up late for work. But the anxiety this causes me is mind boggling, why? again? I need him to be ok, I have real life stuff to talk about, I hate waiting. My issues and lack of being able to handle change and chaos I know affects him greatly— he’s told me so, he wants to be able to make it better but can’t.
He helps me thru my low times and is there for me when I need him but also when it’s great... so I keep doing the same. Yet this is maddening.
New week, im taking care of me... focusing on what I am able to control, getting me in order again ( lots of other craziness in life going on to sort thru besides his repeat issue), baby steps again... yet my mind is racing tonght as I should be winding down to go to sleep. Why hasn’t he called me back tonight? Why am I not important ? Why am I second to that liquid again? I know these answers, but I keep riding along again
He’ll surface again I know this- 24 hours maybe? My constant worry is deafening. We are each very intelligent, responsible, high functioning people with good paying jobs, each with our own baggage, few know the real stiff. We won’t give up on the other tho
Last edited by soinlove; 05-07-2018 at 08:24 PM.
Reason: Mixed up some words