How do I find the middle ground and even balance?
I think by remembering he is a complete adult in his own right - being ill doesn't change that. It may seem as though it does but that's where the ground gets dangerous.
We are hard wired (rightly so) to care for children - if we see a child alone with abadly cut leg we are aware we have a responsibility, even if the child does not agree. HOWEVER if we see an adult with a badly cut leg we wouldn't dream of going against their consent.
There are all kinds of grey areas like learning disabilities but over time as a society I think we have begun to leave behind the notion that vulnerable is equal to childlike, that vulnerable should mean a lack of choice for the individual. Okay - that's an extreme example but the same logic holds.
Yes, I believe we all have a responsibility to act with compassion and not act to cause harm but that doesn't make me resposible for another person's fate, nor should it remove their freedom of choice.
The circumstances where it is justified to act against consent are extreme, they involve whether someone is of sound mind but also immediate danger to themselves or others.
Personally I question the sanity of sky diving - I would not willingly leave a functional airoplane mid flight!! It IS a high risk activity but you couldn't restrain an adult against their will, or give them unwanted treatment because sky diving was their hobby!! However you would try to control a child - different standards and with good reason.
Hey - I broke horses for a living for 7 years!! A serious risk to myself but definately MY choice, anyone who'd tried to rescue me from it would have gone through a painful and very doomed experience.
If you remind yourself he is an adult, he has survived to the age he's at, he's deserves to be respected as an adult, hopefully it will help quell any duty you feel to rescue him, without losing the comapssion you have found for him.