. Anyway, it turns out I got my dream job in my dream location, but then just like that it slipped from fingers.

What was truly amazing ,though, was that I DIDN'T DRINK. On Wednesday, Thursday, or Friday as this was being delt with (my not getting the job and my also having to smooth the very choppy waters at my school for having sought another job while under contract).

I. Did. Not. Drink.

Now, a large part of me wanted to drink, but a much larger part realized how much WORSE that would make the situation. I'd be tired, hung over, anxiety ridden, starting at square zero. It would've made a horrible situation even more horrible. And anyway, the ONLY reason I was about to be offered the dream job was because I'd been sober and been able to go out there and get it. That will never happen again if I start drinking.

For those of you who practice AVRT, that's the "Big Plan" I use. It was interesting because less of my thoughts were on "I want to drink" and more of my thoughts were "Too bad I can't drink, but I made my Big Plan to not drink and to never change my mind so that's that." What started out as seeming like a joke to me (you can change a plan, I'd once thought), now seemed firmly in cement. Permanent, despite what I may want.