Miss hearing from all of y’all — but this sure makes catch-up easier
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Sunflower/Palmer, I really like the idea of just focusing on not drinking for a year. I know there is so much more to the AA program but just to oversimplify for my purposes...I have definitely felt pretty ok with where I am in terms of not eating better, not upping the working out too much (though I have managed to be more consistent what with the lack of hangovers and all). But I have been trying to exercise some financial fitness and that’s not going so well. I’m trying to give myself some permission to not have it all together but also not go overboard thinking I have lots of money I don’t actually have. It’s so easy to get carried away with credit. Because things come up that you need for your house. Or your pets get sick. Or you accidentally underpay your taxes on your rent house to the tune of 5k. Etc, etc, etc. I really was liking the idea of paying my debts and doing nothing on credit but well I think I’m already flunking that. I guess all by way of saying I’m not totally giving myself a free pass but trying to eat the elephant in smaller chunks.
Apropos of nothing have been thinking of the tail end of my NOLA trip. It’s me and like eight men having lunch after our hearing—and half of them were drinking. With two of them then going on to even more drinking and a fancy lunch. I have had several times where I too miss being the fun loving hard drinking girl. Though I don’t know why. That doesn’t actually make people like you more. Well, maybe people who like us could have some problem habits. But why do I mourn the possibility of being this heavy drinker? And tasting bourbon with these people from work? Or having drinks with the guys in New Orleans? I”m not doing a great job of explaining it but I guess that was the persona I cultivated all these years. Maybe that’s why I care about the fact that I have to shed it. I feel like I am saying the most stupid obvious words ever spoken but I’m not stopping! I guess this is just all part of the process.
I’ve just written and erased a sentence like five times because I basically can’t explain what I’m trying to say so I’m giving up for now!
NC, sorry things are so hectic.
Wondering how others are. Well, I’m — you may be shocked — tired. I know that is so different from my other posts. Oh well. At least I’m consistent. Sleep tight all!