Hi WL
I was around your age when I quit for good. I had no really confidence in my own ability to it but I had support here and I used it everyday.
I was also really wanting to quit.
I was at the point where no amount of change was out of the question.
I used to say no one understood me and my drinking cos no one else had cerebral palsy. That was a bit of a crock if I'm honest.
I know a lot of people here with ADHD -ppl with long term recovery.
Please don't let that diagnosis stand in your way.
Regardless of the ADHD its clear from the way you write and think that you're not an 8 year old boy anymore.
I hope you'll continue to look for ways to manage your ADHD condition.
Same goes with your alcoholism.
Make a plan for those moments when the madness comes upon you - like it does or did to all of us.
Reach out. Ask for help.
You're not a passive player here like a leaf being carried along in the gutter and you're not a victim - you can do this WL !
D