Odd Mood
The move is done. Last night was the first night in the new place. I love it.
I've been buzzed with the energy of working the plan. Getting things done and making decisions has been empowering. I feel I've been on the offensive rather than sitting back feeling sorry for myself. I'm grateful for it.
All that said, I think today was a crash of sorts. Like, now that the process I've been so focused on the last week or so is largely done I feel empty. It's a general malaise. A cocktail of emotions. None overpowering, but none of them pleasant. I feel restless.
There's no single source. It's the combination of pressures. Legal stuff looming over my head from the OWI, still the house to sell and the work to do to get it there, my mother has a few health issues that have slammed me in the face with the reality that time is short - she's like a best friend to me, professional complexities and pressures that don't seem to have an immediate answer, etc. etc. etc..
It's just going to be like this for awhile. Cleaning up the wreckage and having the looming OWI issue create layers on layers of issues to work around. It's been 10 weeks of almost non-stop 'solve one problem, look up and see 5 others staring me in the face.'
It gets exhausting.
Yes, a little self pity mixed into the malaise I described above.
I'm going to take this weekend to organize the new place and rest. I'm not going to deal with the house - or any other issues for that matter. I'm leaving the office tomorrow at noon. Going to run a few errands and get myself set up for a very comfortable weekend.
I want to focus on a couple of simple new habits now that I'm in the new place. Meditation is one of them. I need my mind more than ever right now. At the moment I feel fried.
Thanks for letting me vent.
B