lessgravity

and I am now an ex-drinker.

I will have cravings, I'm sure they will come.

I have melancholy thoughts about a Thursday night like tonight in my past - sun shinning, no worries at work tomorrow - perfect for two bottles of cold white wine to get my evening "started" -but the thoughts come and even if I feel the pangs, I know I'm not drinking. It's like noticing a kid begging his parent for another candy, just not going to happen.

I've been on these boards a long time - and I've known I have an addiction to alcohol for longer.

But I know, with certainty, in a way I don't think I did before, that I will not drink anymore.

I can go back and read posts I've written here where I was confident then too about not drinking. Still, this is somewhere different.

Maybe I just had to get to 40 years old, I don't know. Maybe it's just that I FINALLY understand that I could lose everything and that I am not the man I want to be when I give into my addiction.

I can't tell what it is exactly.

Anyone else identify that "flipped switch" point in their drinking life where they knew (even conceding the AV doubts) that they were done, that they had paid enough?

How did you know?