Sweeti - You sound fed up & ready to do this. I had to reach that point, too. For years, I knew what needed to be done, but my heart wasn't in it. Finally, one day I knew I had to say goodbye to the drinking me. I was putting myself in danger, I was miserable, I wanted desperately to be free of it. Being here at SR did it for me - I knew I never had to feel alone again. You can do it, Sweeti.