(((Jess)))
You know, perhaps he's not calling because that's what he would have done anyway, you just didn't give him the chance to show you because you called him all the time.
I'll give you an example of what I mean. My ex has a 13 year old son who lives with his mother at the other end of the UK. Before our relationship, he didn't see him very often. I thought this was outrageous (pre-recovery, you understand) and basically made sure that visits were made and paid for etc. He told me that he was so grateful for reminding him how great it was to be spend time with his son and I really thought I had made a difference. This year, he has had him visit for 4 weeks in the summer (usual arrangement), but as far as I am aware, has made no other effort to go and see him. That's his default position but I enabled him to portray himself as a loving, caring father. His family said how much he had changed since he met me blah, blah, blah, but he hasn't - he was just riding on my coat-tails.
To me, that is what detachment is all about. Unless we detach, we cannot see anyone's true colours.