Jerk! How's that for tough love?
Kidding of course. Ah what a horrid cycle. Giving into the addiction over and over.
I feel for you as I know so many times I've opened that bottle of wine after hours of outright physical and mental suffering that would terrify me if I saw it objectively.
Hope you find some peace and strength today Prof. It'll be 3 weeks for me this week - need you to come join me again.