Originally Posted by
blueeyes84 
Also, he has had 3 DUIS, what is the possibility that he will get another one? Did he ever love me? As mean as it sounds, I love him but I want him to realize one day that he had an amazing partner that loved and supported him and I honestly don't know if he will find that again. Also, is it wrong to hope that he is not happy when he is single and drinking? Not that we will ever get back together, but I want him to one day realize everything alcohol has done to him and taken from him.
As a long term recovering alcoholic/addict, I can tell you his chances of another DUI are high. I am also the mother of an alcoholic (youngest daughter) and an addict (oldest daughter). Youngest daughter is on DUI number 2, and I suspect that won't be the last.
Did he ever love you? In his own alcoholic way. I remember when I left my abusive addict/alcoholic husband, I wished with all my might that some day he would realize what he lost, but the light bulb never came on. The sad fact is he died at the tender age of 47, due to complications from AIDS he contracted while using drugs IV.
I think you are utilizing some excellent resources right now, including your therapist and support groups. Do you like to read at all? One book that really opened my eyes is Women Who Love Too Much by Robin Norwood.
I understand his helping you in some ways right now (I am disabled and have done the same thing), your financial concerns and obligations, and certainly the feelings of being okay some days, and the others days that are so much darker. Be gentle on yourself! Being diagnosed with a lifetime medical condition is a huge thing, plus add in being attached to some degree to an active alcoholic!
Keep doing what you are doing for yourself, and keep posting, dear. Hugs!
