My plan for alcohol use...as I have it typed in Adobe Illustrator format and dutifully posted on my refrigerator at home...goes something like this (left out the stuff personal to me, but I'll share because no one really has a clue who I am on here. lol):
"No matter how BAD of a day I have, I will NEVER drink alcohol again and I will NEVER change my mind.
No matter how my Beast speaks to me, I will NEVER drink alcohol again and I will NEVER change my mind.
My Beast believes that it will die without alcohol. It believes it MUST drink, but I will NEVER drink alcohol again.
I have ALL power over my Beast."
Things have been way different the past couple days, I've calmed down about "relapse anxiety." I know my Beast will present itself in different ways throughout time but as long as I can recognize the AV is leading me towards booze, I know it will be my Beast coming back for another attempt to get "its precious" and that in all finality, it has no real power to change my mind unless I allow it to.
At first I had a bit of a struggle with the concept of Beast time and "I never now drink." but think I'm getting a handle on it. When I say "never" I like to think of an imaginary line that goes off into infinity that represents "Beast time". When I say "never drink again," that means there is no marker at all on the imaginary line to denote future alcohol use. But if I were to say, "I can drink after I'm dead." the Beast would still get excited because somewhere on that imaginary line of "Beast time", there is now a marker for alcohol use.
But anyway, with just a couple more chapters left in the book, I'd say anyone who thinks they don't need to read it, should get slapped across the head with it (yep, including myself). lol The second part goes into much more depth and that depth would've helped me out a lot before. Even with the addicto-depressive condition, I was like "Yeah, you drink and take anti-dpressants, you'll never feel better, duh." But the way Trimpey explained it about the Beast getting depressed and confusing the person it was in fact them that's depressed while sober, was very eye opening.