Welcome, it breaks my heart as to why you're here.
I was deep in my alcohol use prior to being pregnant. Meaning I was a weekend warrior, binge drinker. The moment I found out I was pregnant I didn't touch it until he was 6 weeks old.
My regret, I didn't go to AA and start working a program of recovery while I was pregnant. Things old be much different (however I'm greatful to be where I am currently).
Please, stop drinking and start working on your recovery, build a foundation of sobriety for when the hardship of motherhood hits you (it will) you're ready with a toolbox to utalize.