Amy, I'm so sorry for all the heartache & pain you've experienced. I've been through it too, long ago - my (first) husband's drug of choice was alcohol. He came to deeply regret the loss of everything he treasured - but by that time, years had gone by & it was too late to try and fix things. I think he believed his life was on hold, waiting for him to walk back into it. I do hope you'll check out the forums least mentioned. Glad to have you with us.