I don't have any wisdom, but I just wanted to say that I really connect and resonate with your post. As much as I think I'm ready to recover, my actions and repeated relapses indicate that I am still fighting the reality. I'm not sure how to shed the anger and the bitterness about being different, having to fight this addiction, the psychological and mental burden that alcholism brings. Lately, I have been trying to put things in perspective. My struggle to not drink is daily and grinding, yes. But when I look around at all the suffering and hardship in the world it seems more manageable. Everyone has a battle to fight. We are the lucky ones because ours has a workable solution.