Hello:
I am so glad that you have reached out! You are not alone and you are not the first or last woman that has gone through this. Prayers and hope will do NOTHING for you and your baby, only action. Start hanging out here, read a lot and build a plan.
Looking back will only be helpful as a reminder and a lesson but NOW is the time (look at my name!!!) for change.
Again, you are NOT alone! We are with you.