Hello....
While pregnant with both my children I drank intermittently...( not benders)
But a few glasses of wine.
& like yourself was utterly terrified of what I'd done.
On my five month scan my little girl,was showing small for
Dates.
This was the moment in time that I knew I had to stop.
I'd read about Fetal Alcohol Syndrome....in fact I couldn't stop googling it...& giving myself sleepless nights...
Pregnancy shouldn't be like that ...
Stop now...yes it's hard..but try & give yourself other little treats to take the edge
Off how ur feeling.
And yes go to your Doctor ...or speak to ur mid wife she will be understanding.
My daughter has turned in a beautiful young lady... i thank god I stopped when I did.
Big Hugs ..you really can get through this xxxx