I feel your pain.
When i found out I was pregnant, do you know what the first thing I did was? I had a glass of red wine. I "justified" it by saying to myself well I only did a pregnancy test as the Dr suggested it and I would not have actually known right now that I would be pregnant and would have drank anyway....
The shame. But I was an alcoholic who didnt know I was an alcoholic I only knew I could not function without alcohol.
I didn't drink a lot during my pregnancy but there were at least 2 occasions where I drank a few glasses of wine. My daughter is nearly 6 . She is amazing and has not been damaged by it.
My advice to you is STOP NOW!
Get to AA.
Use your time now to do everything you can to quit.
Learn all your new tools to cope without alcohol NOW!
I wish I had. I wish I had gone into AA when I was pregnant. M daughter is nearly 6 and I have just nearly killed myself with my latest binge. It ends for me NOW. but don't let that be you... you are posting here. You know you have a problem. Please do something now.
Wishing you all the best.
Please pm me if you feel you need to talk.
Lots of love x x