E1234

I posted this same post under alcoholism earlier but I’m posting it here as well in hopes I can talk to a few more people- I’m alone with my thoughts feeling scared.
Sorry if you’re seeing this for a second time..


I’ve had a problem with alcohol for about 5 years. I found out I was 7 weeks pregnant in December. For the first couple of months I obstained from alcohol but in the last few months I have slipped a couple times and had 4-5 glasses of wine on one occasion.
I feel terrible, like I want to die. I have so much guilt it’s hard to look my husband in the eye.
He doesn’t know but if he ever found out he would leave me. He knows I’ve had a problem and left me in the past but came back to work on things when we found out I was pregnant.

Yesterday I drank while he was at work and I feel disgusting. I just keep praying and hope my baby is ok. I feel terrible.

As of now all of his ultrasounds and my blood work has come back normal but I’m so afraid I’ve caused new damage.

Does anyone have any advise/ stories?
I’m desperate.