Thanks for all the replies! It helps to know I'm not the only one. A friend of mine (whose parents are psychologists) told me that all my "childhood stuff" would come to the surface once I became a parent...and boy was he right! It sounds normal though that the feelings bubble.
I agree that those bubbling feelings are probably triggers or things I'm doing differently than what happened to me. I can't tell you how weird and bothersome that closet dream thing is...it's the first thing that pops up when I start getting stressed and triggered....maybe it's a case of the curious cat.....I'm not sure yet.
And DesertEyes I did that perfectionist/workaholic thing you describe! I was really bad about it when I was with my XRAH (I think I did it a lot to avoid dealing the the relationship)....I've slowly began to fade out of being a workaholic but I do the wanting to be a perfect mom thing may be rolling around in my subconscious. Something I need to be aware of I think.