Old 04-26-2018, 12:31 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
FireSprite
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Join Date: May 2012
Location: Florida
Posts: 6,781
I have a lot of random memories but nothing cohesive until my early teens. My sister is the same way even though our experiences are very, very different just like our "damages" are very, very different as well.

I got hypnotized to quit smoking years before I started recovery & my therapist was amazed at how easily this method worked for me so we tried to regress into my childhood a bit just for fun. (He was a very trusted friend with a successful practice) My only response was a knee-jerk "No"-as-a-complete-sentence to every attempt he made at getting me to connect with my younger self. I wouldn't even OPEN Pandora's Box at the time - just No. No. No. I could not/would not discuss a single thing until the topic changed & then I was 100% agreeable.

Some stuff I do find relevant to know in the way that it helps me understand some of my triggers. Personally, I have found that parenting my daughter differently than I was parented helps uncover this stuff - when I trigger due to something happening in HER world, I need to step back & examine why. What was happening to me at that age, how did my parents handle this milestone, etc?

Most of the time, in parenting her differently, I wind up re-parenting my Inner Child in this way - actively recognizing how different it was for me then & working through it now. Some things I only remember because DD's experience reminds me of my own in a way I might not have reached for otherwise.

I can't "force" the memories to bubble up but when they trigger naturally, I can deal with them, you know? I can't count the number of times I've helped DD through something really tough that I didn't receive the same compassion for when I was living it at that age - and then I cry myself to sleep or journal through it all later.

That said - I don't go digging just to dig because I can't trust the filter I'm seeing it all through. The memories are old & fuzzy & were formed as a child with a child's understanding of the things I was experiencing....... I'd have to work hard to recreate & fill in the blanks, making them unreliable as Facts. Seems like could send myself on a wild goose chase that never ends if I go that route.

I'd say, let it go until it rises up & taps you on the shoulder demanding attention & then observe it before dissecting it. Surely our children help our healing when we use their challenges to help us re-parent ourselves vs trying to re-live our own lives vicariously through them. Just my opinion, hope this helps!
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