Terribly sad news. I’m so sorry to hear this. My heart goes out to you.
I’ve been there too, trying too hard to help my son get on his feet. Too many times.
Heartbreaking, that after all your kindness and love, nothing you do helps the alcoholic and that’s so hard for us mothers to grasp.
You must let him go and let him suffer the consequences of his behaviour and heal yourself. There’s no other way. I’ve tried.
After letting go, things slowly improve and all I can say is that it works if you work it. I’m the last person that would give up on my son after about 20 years. But I gave up and went to CoDa where I have found a place of comfort and healing. I’m on Step 3 now and trust my Higher Power absolutely.
Do this for you. Let him go.
Big hug to you.