I remember thinking and saying to my now Exah.....oh at least a 1,000 times (often times - for a positive reaction, which never came).
"I would rather be alone then lonely in this marriage. " Well, after 2 years of therapy, I finally faced my fears and left him. I didn't want to, I thought I really loved him, I was financially dependent on him, I hadn't worked in years, I didn't want to be divorced, I wanted him to change so much that it hurt. It wasn't easy. It was hard and very painful at times but I knew I had a chance at happiness that I would never have if I stayed with him. I can only say this.....I am so happy I that I did it. I am so happy that I learned to love myself enough and didn't look for his love or approval any more. I am alone but I am NOT lonely!!