Thought provoking responses here..... thanks for the post HH.
I really identified with Gabor Mate beliefs about humans needing 2
things - one loving attachment and 2 - authenticity. As a child, we
learn that if mom & dad can't handle our real selves we will give up
our authentic selves because we cannot survive without the attachment
to our parents. We usually carry this dysfunction into our adult
relationships, never being our true authentic self, never being true to
ourselves. Our first nature becomes being something someone
else needs us to be.
No surprise then that we have difficulty knowing what real love
is, what we really want, and how to get it.
In the end, we all have limits- love can be damaged beyond repair,
we can reach the end of our ability to give of ourselves in
certain relationships. I think we should honor this in ourselves,
recognize it, accept it, and be compassionate to ourselves
in seeking a chance for wholeness, peace & honesty.
And hearing this today, truth for me, the greatest blessing is
having someone to love. Someone who values your love and
reciprocates in a way that you experience being loved.