Buck you nailed it. Thank you for this.
I'm battling and laughing and frightened by and pissed off at my AV during this stage of my sobriety as well. I felt all of this post but especially this:
"But why not me?" = that's it man. Why keep paying for this sick addiction instead of REALLY enjoying that beach and water and sun - which really can only be done by guys like us sober.
We've paid enough for this addiction, given enough to alcohol. It's time to take our selves and our lives back.
Proud to be doing it with you.