I don't consider it bashing when I'm being 100% honest about the stuff she is experiencing & seeing with her own eyes - I NEVER sensationalize it, never exaggerate, always remind her that compulsive lying is a part of mental illness that isn't easily understood. I wouldn't be having the same convo with her at 4yrs old as I am now at 13, obviously. We're not talking about a convo out of the blue - it's in direct relation to things she is seeing, hearing & experiencing.
I find it far less compassionate to the child to sugar-coat things that are age-appropriate. DD's friends are discussing things like pregnancy, drugs & suicide. Are alcoholism & mental illness really SO much more damaging/inappropriate? Or is that OUR discomfort? At some point when we choose to sugar coat things, WE are choosing to lie to our children too. I WAS that child being lied to by my codie mother - it's no better than the addict's behavior.