Day 3 :)
Hiya,
Been lurking here for a while now and thought I'd say hi... 31 years old, female.
Been close to 3 years since i started drinking daily - the first 1.5 years were the worst, i could easily finish a 750ml bottle of gin in 2 or 3 days. I craved the buzz so much that I would drink the shots neat on an empty stomach.
Eventually met my better half who totally hates me when I drink so been cutting back so the good news is, since I met him I've eventually cut down to about 1.5 bottles of wine every 2 days. The bad news is I drink secretly behind his back - maybe 1 or 2 shots of whisky on top of the wine daily.
I have no idea why I drink... I don't crave for it at all during the day, only after working hours. I understand that doesn't exempt me from being alcoholic - suppose the word is functioning alcoholic as I have a successful career by day.
Actually, wait, I do have an idea why i drink. I started drinking socially on weekends, perhaps 2-3 glasses of wine on Fridays and Saturdays. Fast forward about 9 years, had a bad relationship and a job which required me to speak socially to people alot (I am rather quiet by nature) - and suddenly I'm downing drinks before social functions and the moment I get home.
It got to the point where I didn't get a pleasant buzz from drinking. I went from zero to K.O most nights, with the buzz no longer causing me to giggle at the silliest jokes, or to allow me to enjoy music on an elevated level. Instead, it took control and I had to drink before I could 'enjoy' anything, from watching a cinema to catching a concert. I even convinced myself I had to drink to do housework (although that DID help a little haha).
Anyway my partner and I are planning to have kids, and I really wanted to prove to myself that I could do it, plus ensure that my 'eggs' are in good shape (and alcohol is super expensive where I'm from in Asia). So, on Sunday I had a last swig of wine and dumped everything. The journey to day 3 has been surprisngly easy - once I got home without boozing (I had to booze before i got on the train because i HATE commute crowds), it was easy being busy and then bedtime.
I must say that I've had crazy nightmares all 3 nights which saw me waking up drenched in sweat - understand this is a byproduct of detox. Other than that I feel perfectly fine. I doubt my 3 years of hard drinking have done much harm - i had a full body check + live function screening and the works recently and not only am I in the best of health with too perfect cholesterol levels etc, my liver is working well too apart from a small reduction in albumin levels. I don't know, maybe it takes years before the damage shows.
Right now, i just want to see if I can go booze free for a week as I have a massive social function to attend next weekend and i think i would like a wine or two then, TYVM! hopefully that won't derail my plans....
.. which is to be a social drinker (1 or 2 glasses of wine on fri and sat).
Am I lying to myself?